Get Specific: How to Ask Better Questions about Moving Abroad
Asking general questions will garner general responses. I know you may feel like you don’t have enough information to ask specific questions because you haven’t decided on a country, let alone a visa, but I’m here to push back and tell you that, in fact, you truly know enough to stop asking generic questions (and then have the audacity get mad when you receive an “it depends” response)!
Specificity Reigns Supreme, in both your current life and in the life you are hoping to cultivate abroad. You know (maybe in painful detail) the things that are not working in your life currently. You absolutely have very particular ideas of things you would prefer NOT to experience abroad. Therefore you more than likely know a lot more about the type of place you are truly looking for.
In fact, you probably have very strong preferences if you actually took a moment to be still and honestly listen to yourself.
Questions like “where can I live where there’s a beach and good education” are wildly abstract, will not elicit quality responses, and in fact may exhaust people who are sincerely trying to help you!
Like, what kind of question is that, ma’am!? What?! You do know Japan, New Zealand, Germany, even the Netherlands all have beaches right? What does a “good education” mean to you? And for whom? Yourself, a child? Specificity is supreme!
Let’s get real, you undoubtedly have definitive preferences in life. It would be hard to go through life, accumulate experiences, and NOT have developed any tastes or inclinations. So let’s first admit that you in fact have preferences in this life and that you most likely have pretty strong ideas about what life abroad means to you. I mean, why else would you just decide to uproot yourself and plunk yourself into an unfamiliar country?
If you’re still screaming, “No, Christine, I have absolutely no clue, no preference in going abroad, all I know is that I want to.”
Well, well, therein lies all of your answers that you claim not to know!
Why? Why do you want to go abroad?
What are you hoping to experience while abroad?
What are you hoping to be different about your experience abroad?
THERE! THERE is your preference (even if it’s just a sketch) and also THERE is the seedling of specificity.
The fact that you know what you do not what to experience, or what you would prefer to experience is the specificity that will garner better advice and less frustration on your part!
If you haven’t already, grab the Moving Abroad with Intention guide to gain the clarity needed to start asking better questions, but also the clarity you need to really build a game plan that will lead you to a thriving and sustainable life abroad.
Flourish in the Foreign’s Move Abroad with Intention Guide
Oftentimes, we keep our plans loose as a result of past experiences. We’ve learned to be flexible and accommodating, which is all nice in theory. But what if we’ve been habitually prepared for disappointment and hardship? If we have been conditioned to anticipate the worst-case scenario of never getting what we ever truly wanted? Then you’ve probably never taken a moment to consider what you truly desire, require, or prefer. As a result, you won’t allow yourself to fully imagine, contemplate or even expect that your needs, let alone your desires will ever be met. So you stick to the abstract, always knowing that whatever happens, you’ll be able to figure it out. Which is an excellent attitude to go abroad with, and will serve you well when unexpected things happen. But in this stage of imagining and researching, this attitude defers your wants and your vision of a life well-lived to others. You know more than you give yourself credit for and if you would allow your true desires, ideals to breathe you may actually find what you’re looking for.
So before you go into inquiry mode, breathe and give yourself the space and time to dream so that you can articulate your preferences. Then fully embody these preferences: what would it feel like if I lived within my preferences? Try it on, instead of preparing yourself to always conform to disappointment and “good enough” situations, start with what you actually want. NOT what you think you can get, start with your ideal and allow yourself to hold everything else up to that standard!
Have some insight to share? Drop your comments below and let’s continue the conversation.
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